Let the Buds Bloom

Let the Buds Bloom

Back home after an eventful day, I watched my thirteen year old daughter’s face as she read the newspaper. Her anguish said the news was about something that tugged at her heart. She motioned her brother to read the news with her. His face too reflected the same distress. She exclaimed with pain in her voice, “Why can’t they just let the kids live? They will somehow grow up.”
I immediately understood what they were reading—the suicide pact—the bane of our society!

Each child is unique. Children see the world through their own innocent eyes. Nothing is more precious than their innocence. They should be given an opportunity to bloom to their fullest without the worms of hatred and distrust eating away the petals of happiness in the little buds. Unfortunately, ADHD, ADD, dyslexia and dyscalculia were unheard of many years back. Such kids were considered lazy and beaten up by parents and teachers alike. Unfortunately, in India parents consider education as the only way to excel in life. This is especially so if the parent is a teacher. The sadness in their lives is doubled as they are unable to accept the fact that their children are different. This kind of a situation has an adverse impact on these child and also their siblings. An extreme reaction to this situation—the suicide pact— burns the souls of hapless children even if they survive it…

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Teaching a child with ADHD

My son has just finished his unit tests. I must say I am so relieved that he has scored more than 90% in Maths. But in other subjects his marks are pretty average. But then I didn’t teach him that well. I allowed him to learn on his own. So he’s got between 40%-50% in all papers. But then I feel confident that he would get good marks if I sit with him.

We enjoyed the last two weekends because his unit tests were over. Now the next one is around the corner. So, no more outings for us for the next two weekends. But my son is no longer going for tuitions in the evening. He gets to play every day. Everyone at home including my husband and his parents were against discontinuing his tuitions. They say I cannot manage his studies and that of his sister’s all by myself. But I really want to make this work.

It’s not at all easy. For example, today I reached home by 6.45 pm from office. My son iwatching TV after playing with his friends. Then he takes his own time to drink his milk and eat some snacks. I don’t know how many times I would have called out to him to get his books for studies. He is tinkering with something and then he starts looking for his books. He opens his book at 8.00 pm, finally! He simply stares with his book open. I have to keep reminding him to read. Every instruction should be repeated again and again. He takes four steps forward and takes two steps backward. But then he is still moving forward. If he manages to study two pages today, it’s not a bad day after all!

No more tuitions-the pushy mom

Today was a typical day. I wanted my son, 13 year old Aditya to study for a couple of hours in the morning as his scores in the previous year were quite low. I wanted him to study from 10.00 to 12.00 in the morning. He went for a swim in the morning, came back, had his break fast and watched TV for a while. I reminded him it was 10.00 am already. He wanted to watch TV for another half an hour. Granted. He takes medication for ADHD and is now on a drug holiday as his school will reopen only in June.

At 10.30, he was irritated and was in no mood to study. Not to mention I was also irritated that every day I have push him so much just to make him sit down and look at his books, even when he has exams. As usual, his books are missing. It's always like this. His books, pens, pencils... always go missing. His teachers tell me that he is a laughing stock in his class as this happens in the class too. In spite of my tidying up his table and book shelf, he is unable to find his book. It is 12.00 noon already! Finally I find the book, which was carelessly tossed in the toys' shelf. Now he opens the book. As usual he dreams a lot, studies a little, that too with constant reminders.

I hate the idea that he has to go for tuitions as he will miss out on games in the evening. So I have stopped the tuitions. And tuitions don't seem to have helped him at all. His father and grand parents think I am making a mistake by not sending him for tuitions.

He needs a lot writing practice and this is the right time for that. I would like to teach him a couple of lessons during his holidays so that it will not be a great burden for him when the school reopens. It's like moving 10 steps and going back 5 steps. That means we are moving forward slowly, but steadily :-).