When you have a pre-teen with ADHD, stress is inevitable. In my case, I spend most of my time at home with kids, especially with my pre-teen with ADHD. He needs that extra attention to complete his homework and his studies. This means I have less time for other chores, which get postponed. It also means I have less time to relax and do things I would love to do.
Very often I don’t feel relaxed after a weekend, when I get back to office because I have been trying to revise my son’s lessons, without which he wouldn’t be able to manage. My husband helps me with most of the other chores. We also find that we have less time for each other. Even for those weekend outings, we always think twice, because it might affect my son’s schedule.
Tension brewing in this kind of a situation is common. There are lots of arguments and those fights, which actually have no basis but stress. May be we don’t link all this to ADHD, but I am sure it is.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
My pre-teen is over anxious about thieves
My 13-year old is on ADHD medication. Now he has a strange, problem, which I don’t think is related to ADHD or medication. He starts getting tensed by nightfall. The reason, he fears sleeping alone. We somehow pacify him or stay in his room until he falls aleep and then retire to our room. By then we become really tired. Then by midnight he is knocking at our door. However we try to pacify him, he insists on sleeping in our room.
One night, he woke me up and silently signaled to me that there was someone under our bed. I said, no, no one’s there. But he wouldn’t believe. Very reluctantly he looked under the bed. Seeing the fear on his face, I almost expected someone to be there. Then he frantically started opening our wardrobes to check for someone hiding in there, right in the middle of the night. Finally he fell asleep. But then he insisted on sleeping near my husband and held on to him until he fell asleep.
I can’t describe the thoughts that crossed my mind. I was really shaken. I have heard about various disorders that could accompany ADHD. But, his psychiatrist ruled it out. He said, the child would grow out of it. He has had similar fears in the past too and he recovered from that. May be he is a bit too sensitive. I hope he gets over this sooner.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Psychiatrist and your child with ADHD
We paid yet another visit to the psychiatrist before the school reopened. He prescribed Atomoxetine Hydrochloride 18, twice a day. He said it is perfect for his weight (40kg). So far he has been taking only half the dose daily.
I somehow get this feeling that he doesn't understand the human side of ADHD. For him my son is just a kid who needs to take medication. I wonder if all psychiatrists are like this. He said if the kid didn't do well it must be because of low intelligence. I really had to control myself. Perhaps he didn't remember that we had shown him the results of the intelligence test and it was way above normal. The psychiatrist mentioned to me that in spite of being able to concentrate he has scored so well. He said that his actual scores would be higher. And this is not something a psychiatrist should say after treating a child for three years.
It is one week since the school reopened. I am monitoring him carefully for his progress and also growth and any changes in him. He still spends one hour almost everyday searching for his pens or books. He still finds it difficult. His class teacher had said that he has become a laughing stock in the class because when all kids in the class are writing, he would still be searching frantically for his things. I wonder if other kids with ADHD also experience similar difficulties.
I somehow get this feeling that he doesn't understand the human side of ADHD. For him my son is just a kid who needs to take medication. I wonder if all psychiatrists are like this. He said if the kid didn't do well it must be because of low intelligence. I really had to control myself. Perhaps he didn't remember that we had shown him the results of the intelligence test and it was way above normal. The psychiatrist mentioned to me that in spite of being able to concentrate he has scored so well. He said that his actual scores would be higher. And this is not something a psychiatrist should say after treating a child for three years.
It is one week since the school reopened. I am monitoring him carefully for his progress and also growth and any changes in him. He still spends one hour almost everyday searching for his pens or books. He still finds it difficult. His class teacher had said that he has become a laughing stock in the class because when all kids in the class are writing, he would still be searching frantically for his things. I wonder if other kids with ADHD also experience similar difficulties.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
A typical frustrating day with ADHD
Some days you simply give up trying. Today was such a day. From morning I have been trying to get my 12-year old son to sit down for studies. I had planned to teach him for a couple of hours a day so that he could catch up with his peers. Some how nothing materialised. He simply didn't respond. He was either dreaming or simply walked around. Most of the time, he was quarrelling with his sister. I had to keep repeating what I said at least four or five times for him to at least look at me. Forget about responding!
Some days are like this. Of course, he is not taking his ADHD medication during these holidays. Now I see that the medication did have some effect unlike what I thought. I wonder if other mothers of kids with ADHD also experience similar problems. Planning to visit his psychiatrist before his school reopens. Let's see what he has to say!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
How people perceive kids with ADHD
Most people, including relatives and friends think a kid with ADHD is simply too naughty or lazy. And almost everyone is against medicating the child. My well meaning relatives said that the child had no problem. However, they get irritated by the child's behaviour and he is ridiculed and scolded for something over which he has no control.
People say things like why cant you listen, why cant you arrange things properly, why can't you sit quietly.... They simply fail to understand that these children may need help in keeping books according to timetable or even in packing his stuff. For many, the child simply needs spanking for being lazy. Many relatives have told me that I need to be more strict with my son to make him more desciplined.
Of course it is the parents, especially the mother who is often blamed for the child being different. I have been called to the school to meet the teachers many times because the teachers found that he could not concentrate and was distracting the class too. It's like, you are always on the receiving end and nothing seems to change for you both. I am sure it must be hard for the child too. But being kids they are somehow unable to express themselves like us. They simply can't understand why they are being targetted. But they know that we will take care of them, somehow. How I wish I could live upto that trust.
People say things like why cant you listen, why cant you arrange things properly, why can't you sit quietly.... They simply fail to understand that these children may need help in keeping books according to timetable or even in packing his stuff. For many, the child simply needs spanking for being lazy. Many relatives have told me that I need to be more strict with my son to make him more desciplined.
Of course it is the parents, especially the mother who is often blamed for the child being different. I have been called to the school to meet the teachers many times because the teachers found that he could not concentrate and was distracting the class too. It's like, you are always on the receiving end and nothing seems to change for you both. I am sure it must be hard for the child too. But being kids they are somehow unable to express themselves like us. They simply can't understand why they are being targetted. But they know that we will take care of them, somehow. How I wish I could live upto that trust.
ADHD - is the psychiatrist helping your child?
I always felt my son's psychiatrist could be more helpful. I am so full of questions when I visit my son's psychiatrist. But then he seems to be only interested in discussing the dose of the drug. He says the child can actually take more. With ADHD, we should be visiting him regularly and discussing the child's progress with him. He is well meaning, but something seems to be lacking in the treatment part.
The treatment does not seem to have helped him. I am not even convinced if I should continue with his treatment. I get the feeling that even psychiatrists do not hace enough enough experience dealing with kids with ADHD. For the last three years my 13- year old son has got only poor grades. His concentration does not seem to have improved. However his activitiy level, such as excessive drumming with his fingers seems to have reduced with medication.
Since his school reopens in June, we have a couple of weeks more to decide on the medication part. May be we will look out for another psychiatrist who would see the child as a person.
The treatment does not seem to have helped him. I am not even convinced if I should continue with his treatment. I get the feeling that even psychiatrists do not hace enough enough experience dealing with kids with ADHD. For the last three years my 13- year old son has got only poor grades. His concentration does not seem to have improved. However his activitiy level, such as excessive drumming with his fingers seems to have reduced with medication.
Since his school reopens in June, we have a couple of weeks more to decide on the medication part. May be we will look out for another psychiatrist who would see the child as a person.
No more tuitions-the pushy mom
Today was a typical day. I wanted my son, 13 year old Aditya to study for a couple of hours in the morning as his scores in the previous year were quite low. I wanted him to study from 10.00 to 12.00 in the morning. He went for a swim in the morning, came back, had his break fast and watched TV for a while. I reminded him it was 10.00 am already. He wanted to watch TV for another half an hour. Granted. He takes medication for ADHD and is now on a drug holiday as his school will reopen only in June.
At 10.30, he was irritated and was in no mood to study. Not to mention I was also irritated that every day I have push him so much just to make him sit down and look at his books, even when he has exams. As usual, his books are missing. It's always like this. His books, pens, pencils... always go missing. His teachers tell me that he is a laughing stock in his class as this happens in the class too. In spite of my tidying up his table and book shelf, he is unable to find his book. It is 12.00 noon already! Finally I find the book, which was carelessly tossed in the toys' shelf. Now he opens the book. As usual he dreams a lot, studies a little, that too with constant reminders.
I hate the idea that he has to go for tuitions as he will miss out on games in the evening. So I have stopped the tuitions. And tuitions don't seem to have helped him at all. His father and grand parents think I am making a mistake by not sending him for tuitions.
He needs a lot writing practice and this is the right time for that. I would like to teach him a couple of lessons during his holidays so that it will not be a great burden for him when the school reopens. It's like moving 10 steps and going back 5 steps. That means we are moving forward slowly, but steadily :-).
At 10.30, he was irritated and was in no mood to study. Not to mention I was also irritated that every day I have push him so much just to make him sit down and look at his books, even when he has exams. As usual, his books are missing. It's always like this. His books, pens, pencils... always go missing. His teachers tell me that he is a laughing stock in his class as this happens in the class too. In spite of my tidying up his table and book shelf, he is unable to find his book. It is 12.00 noon already! Finally I find the book, which was carelessly tossed in the toys' shelf. Now he opens the book. As usual he dreams a lot, studies a little, that too with constant reminders.
I hate the idea that he has to go for tuitions as he will miss out on games in the evening. So I have stopped the tuitions. And tuitions don't seem to have helped him at all. His father and grand parents think I am making a mistake by not sending him for tuitions.
He needs a lot writing practice and this is the right time for that. I would like to teach him a couple of lessons during his holidays so that it will not be a great burden for him when the school reopens. It's like moving 10 steps and going back 5 steps. That means we are moving forward slowly, but steadily :-).
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