The unseen casualty of ADHD

ADD/ADHD is not new to me. After my son was diagnosed, I realized that my brother might have had ADD when he was younger. The only difference in symptoms was that he was not hyperactive. He found it hard to study, how ever he tried. Everyone branded him as a lazy boy.

I think my father suffered the most due to this. He was a teacher in a well known public school. In a middle class family in India, a child’s education matters the most. My father worried about his son’s future. He was confused and couldn’t figure out why his son couldn’t study. Most of the other teachers had their children studying in professional colleges or well known institutes. He perhaps felt left out.

Through my brother’s high school years, I could see a change in my father. He worried a lot and his eyes always wore a sad look. His loud laughter and booming voice was heard less. He simply went into a shell. It affected all of us. When he died of a major heart attack at the age of 50, he was a lot different from the happy person I knew. I am not linking the heart attack to this, but it made him really sad. My brother outgrew his disorder and is doing well now.

Those days no one in India perhaps knew about ADHD/ADD or other learning disorders. Now when I see my husband becoming stressed about our son, I feel I have been through this for a long period, but he is new to ADHD. The feeling is so familiar to me. But our situation is better. We are not blindly fighting an unknown enemy. I always feel I am in control. I have taken up complete responsibility of teaching him and his younger sister. Perhaps somewhere in my mind, I am trying to protect my husband from the stress my father suffered!